Embracing the In-Between

Hellos and goodbyes. Beginnings and endings. Birthing and dying.

It’s all about the in-betweens…

Staring out at the soft, billowy clouds en route to the sturdy and warm embrace of my beloved husband. My heart is swollen with the enormity of what transpired over the last six days since arriving in Denver. Terri Luanna’s BFF and soul sister, Auntie Cole, and her beloved husband, Uncle Ed, welcomed the two most precious, wondrous babies into the world—Annabelle Dawn and Edward Camp. Traversing a deeply harrowing post-entry, baby Annabelle embodied her namesakes’ warrior spirits. Emboldened by the deep and abiding love and light that surrounded her from near and far, brother and sister emerged whole, healthy, and so ready to make their marks on this world.

Auntie Laurie fell hopelessly and helplessly in love when I finally held them in my arms. Not to be deterred by flight cancellations or Denver snow storms, I arrived just in time for Daddy to jet off to work, leaving their strong, brilliant, kick-ass Momma and I to bond and give thanks for the miracle of new beginnings…

Adoration barely captures the intensity of the joyful love affair that transpired between us. And Terri was there each and every step of the way—”pushing through” over and over again to ensure we felt her presence.

But the reality of her physical absence eventually hit us both. Tears streaming, Auntie Cole ached for Terri’s presence.

“I want her here to tell me if I’ve nursed Edward long enough. I want her here to explain how to use that wrap carrier she carried Miss M in. I want her here to be earth mother to my babies; to sing to Annabelle, to adore Edward, to guide them through life.”

I wrapped my arms around her, our tears melding together.

“You’re right, honey. It breaks my heart for you that she isn’t physically here.”

Leaning back I looked deeply into her eyes, imploring her to hear me. “But she is here, Nic, because I’m here. I cannot tell you how grateful I am to Terri for bringing you into my life. Without her I wouldn’t be here, loving you, loving your beautiful babies. And without you, I could never have survived losing Terri. What you and I have, here and now, is all because of Terri. Know that I will always be here. And so will Terri. Because we’re family.”

Annabelle’s hungry cry brought us back to reality. Wiping our tears we re-entered the magical “in-between” of new life.

Before I knew it, it was time to say goodbye…

Fiercely holding on to each other, baby Edward nestled between us, Nicole cried, “I don’t want you to leave…”

“I know… But I promise we’ll see each other soon.”

“You’re right Auntie, we will.”

Boarding my flight a short time later, my phone rang while the flight attendant scanned my boarding pass. Recognizing my cousin Tommy’s number, I knew immediately another “in-between” was upon me.

“Hi Tommy, I was going to call you, I’m literally boarding my flight. Where are you?”

“I’m with my mother. The doctor said she might not make it through the day, cuz.”

My heart broke open for this man that I call my “brother from another mother.”

“I’m so sorry, Tommy. Is anyone with you?”

“The priest is here and the kids are on their way.”

“Please kiss her for me. I’ll call you as soon as I land.”

Walking down the jetway, unbidden tears fell down my cheeks. My grandfather’s 102-year-old sister’s face entered my mind’s eye. My Tia Marion’s magnificent, openhearted, tenacious and tender “in-between” was nearing its end.

I texted my sisters, husband, and kids. My heart ached thinking of telling my beloved 91-year-old mother. Their deeply intertwined lives meant yet another heartrending goodbye in the litany of losses she has experienced.

That’s when Terri gently nudged her way into my heart, reminding me once again, it’s all about the in-betweens…

Remember to embrace them ❤️

Love,

Auntie L

Tia Marion’s 100th birthday celebration

Tia Marion’s 102nd birthday with my mother, Dorothy

The magical twins❤️

 

 

 

9 Comments

  1. Charlie on April 18, 2019 at 2:57 am

    Congratulations to Auntie Cole. What a blessing Terri has left to her & to us



    • gracefulwomanwarrior on April 18, 2019 at 8:11 am

      So very true Charlie ❤️



  2. Margo Moore on April 18, 2019 at 9:44 am

    What beautiful babies! Happy Life to both Annabelle and Edward!



    • gracefulwomanwarrior on April 18, 2019 at 12:17 pm

      Thanks Margo! Such a gift to be their Auntie❤️



      • Margo Moore on April 18, 2019 at 12:33 pm

        May many happy times together lie ahead of all of you!!! They are lucky to have such a wonderful Auntie!



    • Christa on April 18, 2019 at 4:25 pm

      Precious babies, precious Auntie Cole and the worlds most living and giving Auntie Laurie. Life at its best. Love you all!



      • gracefulwomanwarrior on April 18, 2019 at 9:48 pm

        Love you too Christa❤️



  3. Frances L. on April 19, 2019 at 9:40 pm

    Thanks Laurie.. Frances L.



    • gracefulwomanwarrior on May 18, 2019 at 11:25 am

      You are so welcome Frances❤️ Holding you and your family in my heart each and every day.