In Our Hearts

Walking down the meat aisle in BJ’s, my phone dinged. Hmmm… I thought. My niece, Jessica. Hope everything’s ok.

Pulling my cart to the side to read her text, tears began to swell in the corners of my eyes. Visualizing my beautiful niece driving her inquisitive four-year-old daughter, Sophie Luanna, home from daycare, I continued reading:

“I want to apologize in advance for the long text, but I just had to share with you!

Soph loves talking about when she was a baby or when she was in my belly.  When we were driving home from daycare last night, she asked about how we picked her name.  I told her that for her first name, we asked her grandparents for help and we all voted on our favorite name.  Then I told her that for her middle name, we chose to name her after someone very special.

I should have known she’d ask a bunch of questions, so I eventually explained how Terri was very sick when I got pregnant.  I didn’t have to say it, but she figured out that Terri had passed.  I also explained how Terri is cousin Marisa’s mom.  This made her sad.  So I said, ‘But you know what, she’s always with us,’ and Soph replied, ‘In our hearts?’  And through tears, I said, ‘Yes, you’re so right.  She’s everywhere and with us always.  And when I’m  scared, I ask her and Auntie Jeanne to protect me.’ And then I cried some more.

It was our first conversation about it and it just hit me so hard how she understood Terri was still with us.  It was a beautiful reminder.  Give Miss M a big hug from us ❤️”

Tears streaming down my cheeks, I started typing furiously, a few people casting sympathetic looks my way.

“Oh, Jessica. I can’t tell you how full my heart is (I’m literally crying in BJ’s right now!) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this with me. It so affirms the love we all share and the importance of including our beloved babies in these heart-centered conversations.

And can I just tell you what an amazing mother you are?? I so love watching your family story unfold. Just wish you lived closer! Love you❤️”

Another text came in from my friend, Lisa, asking where I was in the store.

“Meat section,” I texted, realizing too late I had sent it to Jessie instead of Lisa!

“Oops that last text was for Lisa😂😂😂”

To which Jessica replied,

“Haha! And yes, it’s the only way we can even try to make sense of what happened— to see the love in our family and how it holds us all together.

Sorry to get you crying in BJs LOL!

Love you too! Have a great weekend! ❤️”

Truth be told, Terri Luanna wasn’t just in our hearts yesterday, she was EVERYWHERE!

Miss M and I had our first TV interview on Books and the World. The oldest TV show in the country showcasing authors, it’s sponsored by the Cape Cod Writers Center. (Stay tuned for viewing options!) The office staff at her school oohed and aahed as she opened her coat to reveal her debut TV outfit, accessorized with Mamãe’s neckerchief tied stylishly around her neck and Mamãe’s gold lame purse in hand.

As we got closer to the Dennisport studio, Pandora played Mamãe song after Mamãe song. Arriving at the studio fifteen minutes early, we immediately drove to the ocean to formally invite Mamãe and Nana Canada to join us.

 

Visions of our brave, brilliant, openhearted Warrior permeated that TV studio thanks to our compassionate and intuitive interviewer, Kathy Aspden. Kindred spirits from the moment we met, her eyes glistened as she exclaimed she too had been talking to Mamãe and had invited her to “join us.”

 

But I have to say, the “sign of all signs” appeared after the interview. I had promised Miss M an ice cream after the show. Kathy and the studio staff were stumped for suggestions. After all, it was the middle of January on Cape Cod! They suggested I drive up Rt. 28 so off we went.

Within minutes I spotted one— closed.

I pulled over resorting to google maps. Directing me to turn around, Miss M noticed a candy store on the left as I drove back in the same direction we had just come from. Pulling in as instructed by our annoying GPS lady, I heard a groan in the back seat.

“This is the same one we just drove by, Auntie.”

Putting on a happy face and using my most conciliatory voice I replied, “I don’t think we’re going to find one, honey. Want to try that candy store?”

“Ok…”

“Do you want to get some candy if they don’t have ice cream?”

“No. I want to keep looking.”

Oh boy… If there’s one thing my spunky, indomitable great-niece is, it’s determined!

The delectable aroma of chocolate bombarded my senses as soon as we entered. The young girl stocking shelves delivered the regrettable news that they were a candy only store, but offered one last hope—she thought there might be an ice cream parlor a few miles down the road, named…

It wasn’t until we were outside that the name registered.

“Did you hear what she said the name was?” I cried.

“Ummm, not really.”

“AUNTIES’,” I yelled, grabbing on to her. “Aunties’! This is so Mamãe! She’s thanking Auntie and telling us that we both ROCKED our interview!”

And there she was, finally; the young lady who had walked tall out of that studio, twinkle in her eye, carrying her Mamãe ‘in her heart,’  was back.

 

Hug delivered, Jessica and Sophie Luanna❤️

Love,

Auntie L