Listen to Your Inner Voice

Piercing the comfortable silence on our way home from seeing Toy Story 4, Miss M caught me completely off guard.

“Is Gabby evil?”

She was referring to Gabby Gabby, the villainous baby-blue-eyed, talking, pull-string antagonist.

“What do you think?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking.”

“Hmmm. Well, that’s a complicated question. Lots of people act mean sometimes but it doesn’t mean they’re evil. Usually, there’s a reason they’re acting that way. Something is hurting inside. It doesn’t excuse their behavior, but if we take the time to get to know them like Woody did, sometimes it helps us understand why they’re acting that way. Did you think Gabby was evil in the beginning?”

“Yes.”

“Me too. How about at the end?”

“No.”

“Me either. So what changed?”

“Woody helped her find a kid to love.”

“Right! Gabby had never been loved by a kid before and she was desperate to know what that would feel like. Unfortuntaley, she wanted that so badly she was willling to do anything to get it. Like kidnap Woody and his friend Forky and steal Woody’s voice box. Woody could have just left her behind, especially after she treated him so badly, but instead, he listened to his inner voice and turned back to find out why Gabby was so unhappy.”

“What is an inner voice?”

“Well, it’s like what Woody said to Buzz, it’s kind of like your conscience. That voice that tells you what is right or wrong. Another word for it is intuition. What your heart is telling you to do. Like at the end, when Buzz helped Woody really listen to what his inner voice was telling him to do; to say goodbye to his kid, Bonnie, so he could say hello to a new life with Bo Peep.”

“Is your inner voice always right?”

“That’s a really good question… (aka, the social worker go to answer when you’re not sure of the answer!)

“I’d say, 99% of the time it is. But the thing is, it’s not always easy to follow it. Sometimes, the right thing to do is the hardest thing to do. Like standing up to something or someone you think is wrong which might cause the other person to be angry at you, or not be your friend. What I do know is It’s really important to listen to that voice. But it takes practice, you need to listen to it, look inside and figure out what your heart is telling you. Sometimes, if I’m not sure, I’ll ask one of my girlfriends, or sisters, or Uncle Markie what they think and they help me sort it out. So I’d say yes, your inner voice is always right because it’s really your heart talking to you. What happened to Gabby when she listened to her inner voice?”

“She found a kid who loved her.”

“Exactly. But she was really scared to try. Why?”

“Because Harmony threw her away!”

“That was awful!!”

“I know! I heard you gasp, Auntie, when it happened.”

“I so wasn’t expecting Harmony to do that! That’s why Gabby was so scared to try again. How terrible to be thrown away like that. No wonder she was scared to reach out to that lost girl to see if she might want her. But Woody helped her take a chance and listen to her heart.”

We were quiet for a bit, each preoccupied with our internal musings on the meaning of life…

As we rounded the bend, my eyes instinctively scanned the overgrown field. The waning sunlight typically beckoned countless deer to feast on the tasty vegetation, but not tonight. Slowing down near the fence, I suddenly braked. Lowering the windows, an exquisite doe stood less than six feet from the car, nibbling her dinner.

“Hello there,” I softly murmured.

She nonchalantly lifted her head, seemingly listening intently as Miss M and I cooed in the singsong voices we reserve for just such a siting. Eventually, a car appeared behind us, forcing us to say our goodbyes.

“Thanks, Mamãe. Love you,” I said, locking eyes with a smiling Miss M in the rear view mirror, my heart bursting with gratitude for the magical, vividly colorful landscape of my life.

With Love,

Auntie L