Giving Thanks

Wow!  It’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything.  Don’t worry, nothing is wrong.  I haven’t been in the hospital.  No new health concerns.  All is good actually.  I’ve been feeling more like my old self.  Enjoying life.  Feeling grateful.  I can’t pinpoint what has changed (if anything) but the cloak of depression is lifting.

Tomorrow is American Thanksgiving and I realize I have much to be grateful for.

I am grateful for my most recent trip to NYC.  Appreciative of the fact that I’m able to travel back and forth for treatment.  Thankful for the kind and caring family I have there who never get tired of my visits.  Grateful for the time by myself.  To regroup.  Reconnect.  And remember who I was before cancer…  Before I was a mother…  Before I left the Big Apple…

I am grateful that my plastic surgeon wants to hold off on doing my next (and final) surgery.  He says it’s best for me to complete the recommended 6 months on blood thinners before we stop them to do another procedure.  To do otherwise would be tempting fate and putting me at risk for yet another (potentially fatal) blood clot.  Fine by me.  I’m happy to have more time to strengthen & fortify my body before undergoing surgery again.  Happy for the time to explore the suggestions of my naturopath.  Happy to have a few months free to just live life.

I am grateful for my oncologist Dr. K who continues to work with me instead of against me.  Although uncertain about my choice to forgo hormonal therapy (he wants me to start taking Arimedex) Dr. K recognizes that I am not making my decisions blindly.  And he admits that he doesn’t have all the answers and may learn a thing or two from me.  And I appreciate his approach of taking things slowly.  After months of not taking Herceptin we’ve agreed to start again, but slowly – Going back to the weekly dose instead of doing three times that amount every 3 weeks.  So I am set to start my Herceptin infusion again next week.

I am grateful for my husband who always has my back.  Our path has not been an easy one.  Yet, together we seem to be able to ride out the storms.  Our foundation is solid.  His love unwavering.  Our connection deep.  We’re still able to find the humour in life.  Always asking each other, “Are we having fun yet?”  Accepting each other for who we are – the good and the bad.  Looking forward to many, many more years together.

I am grateful for my beautiful daughter who keep me on my toes.  Keeps me laughing.  Helps me stay centered in the moment.  Forces me to cultivate patience and forgiveness.  Allows me to see the world through a different set of eyes.  And reminds me what true unconditional love feels like.

I am grateful for the never ending support of those around me.  First & foremost from my family and close friends…  But also from my little suburban Ohio community…  From the ladies in my young women with breast cancer support group…  From those in the blogging world…  From complete and total strangers…  Those who know me, know how fiercely independent I am.  But there is NO WAY I can fight this battle alone.  Having this support means the world to me.

Of course I am grateful for the basic necessities of life as well…  Our home.  The food in the fridge.  The car with enough gas to get where I need to go.  The clothes that keep me warm.  The freedom to come and go as I please.  Having spent a good chunk of time over the last few years essentially homeless, rotating from house to house, and living below the poverty level, I will never take these things for granted.

And I am grateful that right now I feel good.  I am exercising again.  Regaining strength in my left side.  Not experiencing pain anywhere else in my body.  I can walk.  I can sleep through the night.  I can think clearly.  All the other minor problems I can deal with.

With Thanksgiving upon us the time is ripe for taking a few moments to give thanks.  What are you thankful for?

Peace and love,  – T