I know I said the last entry would be the last, but I just couldn’t keep what happened today to myself… I mean, shit like this just doesn’t happen. But those of you who knew and loved Terri know that when it comes to Terri, shit like this does happen. And it’s important to share. And to believe.
Believe in what? In miracles. That if we open ourselves, if we “listen”, if we “show up”, as my sister Jeanne used to say, that miracles do happen.
I’m in Chatham, Massachusetts, celebrating the 25th year of my annual GWA (Girls’ Weekend Away). My sacred girlfriend retreat. The one Terri joined us for the first time in year 13.
This year is special for so many reasons. Chatham is actually where my grief journey began. When I was 8 years old. When my then 16 year-old sister Jeanne told me my 42 year-old father had just died.
And Chatham is where I’ve come all these years later to heal my newest wounds. My newest layer of loss.
So when I saw that Pilgrim”s Landing: Provisions For The Spiritual Traveler (http://pilgrimslandingcapecod.com), was offering a guided Labyrinth walk, my girlfriends and I “showed up” to walk. Both Terri and Jeanne had passionately spoken to me about their transformative labyrinth journeys, but in all my 58 years, I had never experienced one.
As I entered, I set an intention to honor my sister and my niece.
The tears fell as I put one foot in front of the other along the stone path, feeling their presence enfold me. Feeling a profound sense of loss.
Then, I literally was lost. I had lost my way on the path. Suddenly, my friend Diane appeared. Our eyes locked and once again, I was found… I turned and joined her, following her footsteps. Connected once again.
Later, our guide spoke about metaphors evoked by this mindful experience, and I realized that my girlfriends have always been there to guide me, to hold me, to walk with me through this journey we call life. They’ve always “showed up”. For me, and for Terri.
Tonight, I Skyped with Heron and Marisa. After we caught up on this weeks highlights, Heron said, “I saw that picture you posted yesterday on Facebook of the labyrinth.”
I excitedly told him and Marisa about how amazing it was and that I totally felt Terri and Jeanne’s presence and love.
Heron said, “Marisa walked a labyrinth yesterday too…”
“What???” I asked incredulously. “She what???”
“She walked a labyrinth too,” he said, smiling. “When I went to pick her up at day care she took my hand and showed me a labyrinth she had created out of wood chips. And she wanted me to walk it so I did. We both did. And then when I got home I saw your picture.”
“Oh my God!” I exclaimed, goose bumps tingling along my arms. “It was Terri. It was a visit from Mamãe, Marisa!”
And the three of us just smiled at each other from ear to ear, basking in the loving warmth of this gift. This miracle.
I mean, what are the chances? On the exact same day? At almost the exact same time?
Miracles do happen.
So please listen for them. Search for them. Believe in them.
I know I will.