It’s been an emotionally charged couple of weeks…
More beginnings. More endings. And lots of in betweens.
Marisa’s 6th birthday. Terri’s NYC Astoria Park Bench Dedication. The 6 month anniversary of Terri’s death…
And then came the silence… The sadness… The searching…
Until finally, the answers appeared. Signed, sealed and delivered by Terri.
This will be my/our last blog post. Is it any wonder I have been avoiding writing it? Or that as I type, tears are streaming down my face? How do I “say goodbye” yet again? Staying connected to all of you through this blog has been my lifeline to Terri. Staying true to the promise I made to her when she whispered to me, “I think I am dying. I want you to tell people,” has been one of the most profoundly life changing experiences of my life.
But she has gently and lovingly been sending me signs, markers, and messages that it is time. Guiding me as her mother did before her on my grief journey.
And her message is/was loud and clear. It brings to mind something she tried to explain to me about a week before she died. She kept dreaming about these scarfs. They kept changing colors and would get wet every time she made a questionable moral decision. They were a constant test. Everyone had to wear them. But in the end, “We all had to tie them together until we were all in agreement…” In the end, “It is not about being perfect. It’s about being whole.” In the end, “There is enough love in the universe for everyone…”
How incredibly “Terri’ is that?
Right up to her death, she was sharing her profound visions of hope. Of universal love and truth. Of the critical importance of connection.
Then, right before she drifted off she said, “It meant the world to me to have you all here to celebrate with me. That I was not forgotten…”
No, my love, you will never be forgotten. I promise you that.
Nicole and I will publish your blog, just as you wished.
Miss M will be loved in true Mamãe style forever and always-dreaming big, honoring her truth, dancing, loving, traveling and changing the world…
And this final video, which you so brilliantly saved till now, will keep you just a “click away”…
Deepest gratitude to Michael and Kathy Murray from Summer Wind Wedding Films who worked tirelessly with me to capture Terri’s essence and the depth of love we all feel for her.
And for those of you who haven’t yet heard my sister Dori’s powerfully heartrending, “Hymn for Terri”, sung by Dori, my niece, Tanya and my daughter, Erin, you are in for an incredibly moving experience. If you would like to own a copy of the song, we will send anyone who donates to Miss M’s College Fund through the GoFundMe link on this page, a free mp3 download.
So, my beloved niece, till we meet again, “We’ll find, we’ll have to find, our way without you…”