Till We Meet Again…

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It’s been an emotionally charged couple of weeks…

More beginnings. More endings. And lots of in betweens.

Marisa’s 6th birthday. Terri’s NYC Astoria Park Bench Dedication. The 6 month anniversary of Terri’s death…

And then came the silence… The sadness… The searching…

Until finally, the answers appeared. Signed, sealed and delivered by Terri.

This will be my/our last blog post. Is it any wonder I have been avoiding writing it? Or that as I type, tears are streaming down my face? How do I “say goodbye” yet again? Staying connected to all of you through this blog has been my lifeline to Terri. Staying true to the promise I made to her when she whispered to me, “I think I am dying. I want you to tell people,”  has been one of the most profoundly life changing experiences of my life.

But she has gently and lovingly been sending me signs, markers, and messages that it is time. Guiding me as her mother did before her on my grief journey.

And her message is/was loud and clear. It brings to mind something she tried to explain to me about a week before she died. She kept dreaming about these scarfs. They kept changing colors and would get wet every time she made a questionable moral decision. They were a constant test.  Everyone had to wear them. But in the end, “We all had to tie them together until we were all in agreement…” In the end, “It is not about being perfect. It’s about being whole.” In the end, “There is enough love in the universe for everyone…”

How incredibly “Terri’ is that?

Right up to her death, she was sharing her profound visions of hope. Of universal love and truth. Of the critical importance of connection.

Then, right before she drifted off she said, “It meant the world to me to have you all here to celebrate with me. That I was not forgotten…”

No, my love, you will never be forgotten. I promise you that.

Nicole and I will publish your blog, just as you wished.

Miss M will be loved in true Mamãe style forever and always-dreaming big, honoring her truth, dancing, loving, traveling and changing the world…

And this final video, which you so brilliantly saved till now, will keep you just a “click away”…

Deepest gratitude to Michael and Kathy Murray from Summer Wind Wedding Films who worked tirelessly with me to capture Terri’s essence and the depth of love we all feel for her.

And for those of you who haven’t yet heard my sister Dori’s powerfully heartrending, “Hymn for Terri”,  sung by Dori, my niece, Tanya and my daughter, Erin, you are in for an incredibly moving experience. If you would like to own a copy of the song, we will send anyone who donates to Miss M’s College Fund through the GoFundMe link on this page, a free mp3 download.

So, my beloved niece, till we meet again, “We’ll find, we’ll have to find, our way without you…”

Terri   password-terri

 

 

19 Responses

  1. My dearest friend Laurie,
    A beautiful tribute to Terri!:) The beautiful memories will always be cherished. Terri was an amazing, courageous and loving woman. I am sure that both Terri and Joe are sharing stories in Heaven as we try to find our way without them. I am confident that they will forever be our guardian angels. “The light of Love still shines even through the darkness of loss”. Terri made this world a brighter and better place with all she had to offer; her kindness, humor and knowledge helped many going through the same journey. She was indeed a GracefulWomanWarrior!
    Terri will always be warmly remembered, Thank You for sharing her with us!
    Love,
    Alice

    • You are welcome my friend. And thank you for your words of comfort and support of our Warrior and Miss M. Looking forward to seeing you real soon.
      With love, Laurie

  2. Oh Laurie, I feel your pain, as I know you feel mine. Nobody ever had a better aunt looking out for her than Terri did. You must know how much she loved you. She certainly knew how much you loved her. Time we both moved on now, and let the pain of her absence from our lives become the New Normal. What else can we do? I’m SO glad you were there for her. And for me. Love, Spider

  3. I think of the title of one of her mother’s dances — ReMembering.

    優美な女戦士

    ReMembering when
    and where. Now, now. There, there. All’s
    sooner than you think.

  4. Is the video for family only? Because it requires a password.

    So glad the “taking care of business” part of death is over, and that the blod *will* become a book. You have been astounding, Auntie L, and so generous in continuing the blog. God bless you, and how lucky Miss M is to have you and all the women from Terri’s life to keep her mother alive for her.

      • Thank you for you loving words… They mean the world to me as does hearing from all who also loved my girl.

    • And God bless you Kay… It is not only a gift and honor to carry on this blog, the true gift that Terri has left me, that sustains me each and every day, is the Magical Miss M. So looking forward to our continued adventures in honor and celebration of “Mamãe”.
      With love and gratitude,
      Aunty Laurie

  5. Thank you for keeping her memory alive didn’t have a chance to meet her but I’m touch by her life and andestending of her
    Disease .
    God bless you for keeping righting about her one day we all going to meet .
    Lourdes

    • I look forward to that day Lourdes…
      If not in the next life, perhaps at her book signing?!? If anyone has any ideas or connections to help me make that happen, please let me know.
      With love and thanks, Aunty Laurie

  6. It is going to be difficult to let this community go. I’ve going through my own battles, and this was a place of sanctuary. Through our connections to Terri (even if it was only as someone met and cared about as an online friend), she held us together and in her corner.

    I’m so sorry for the pain of grief that has lain across your shoulders. I know how sometimes it can be like something being so hard to deal with all the time.

    However, it can also become like the finest shawl, there to warm and comfort you as needed. It can wrap you in love and when the breezes of living get too strong, it can find ways to ease the pain with a remembered smile, silly joke, or just the whisper of a dance step.
    00
    I wish everyone who came together the finest of memories and love to share with this warrior her journey. (Typos, mixed cases, and all of that courtesy of my own tears.)

    Blessings

    • Dearest Sherry, I am feeling your blessings, wrapped around my heart, comforting me as Terri’s words and this blog have comforted you and so many others…
      Sanctuary. What a beautiful description to encapsulate the unique space of love, healing and compassion engendered by this blog. By our Warrior.
      We must find a way to sustain that healing, that love, that connection. To carry on Terri’s legacy of love. Publishing this blog is only one way to do that… Let’s see where Terri takes us next…
      With love and deep gratitude, Aunty Laurie

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