Quest for the Bench

Been missing Terri… So much…

As are Miss M. And Heron. And many of you.

I know because some of you reached out this week. Feeling the same ache. Missing her smile. Her light. Her irrepressible positivity.

Two weeks ago, Miss M and I channeled our grief by embarking on a quest to NYC to find Mamae’s perfect bench.

Terri wasn’t attached to Memorials. Or Funerals. Or Cemeteries.

Her requests were simple; a party-check, dancing-check, scattering some of her ashes in the ocean by her favorite city in the world- NYC, and maybe a bench in her memory, where we could sit “with” her at Astoria Park.

So a core group gathered- Miss M, myself, Erin and Matt, Grandpa, Auntie Mary, Uncle John, cousin Jeanne and Uncle Jim. Miss M brought along her brand spanking new magnifying glass to solve the mystery of which bench was pictured in a photo of Mamae, 9 months pregnant, sitting along side the two sets of overjoyed expectant grandparents.









After a half hour of searching, our determined group was perilously close to frost bite. As the sun began setting on the Hudson River, Erin exclaimed, “There it is!!” In true Nancy Drew style, Miss M meticulously examined every inch of the bench. (Terri had asked Erin to turn Miss M on to her favorite detective series, hence the accompanying magnifying glass!)

Proclaiming the mystery solved, we hustled our freezing asses back to our cars and journeyed to Terri’s favorite Italian restaurant, Trattoria L’incontro, where we were led to the same exact table that Terri, Heron, Miss M, Nana Nana and I celebrated Marisa’s 1st birthday and Heron’s graduation. (Thanks Terri…) We savored exquisite Italian delicacies while reminiscing, reconnecting and reenergizing our heavy hearts.

I can’t tell you how deeply grateful I am for these moments of connectivity; of shared grief. They are incredibly powerful in tempering the ever present, heart wrenching pain of losing Terri. Soon enough, you too will have an opportunity to do the same.

Dori, Tanya and Erin are putting the finishing touches on Dori’s  hauntingly beautiful,  We’ll Find Our Way (Hymn For Terri), soon to be featured here on Terri’s blog.

Application for said bench is in process, and will be followed by a NYC Dedication Celebration in true Terri style, open to all.

In the mean time, I offer you this opportunity to join with me in remembering our beloved gracefulwomanwarri, Terri Luanna, by clicking on this link…  Terri’s Life Celebration

Love Auntie L

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8 Responses

  1. Beautiful- and such a tribute to an amazing woman and her journey!! I am always thinking of Terri and the mark she left in my life. I hopfully will visit this place in NY one day! Love to you all ❌⭕️❌⭕️

  2. I’m a friend of Luanna’s from our Nancy Drew days in Halifax, and I found this post so very touching. I’ve been thinking of her so much. I just love that photo of pregnant Luanna and the happy grand parents. Lots of love to Spider, and of course Miss M and Heron and all of you… xoxo Molly

  3. “I’m especially blown away by the number of people willing to get on a plane and come out to the middle of nowhere Ohio to be with me”. ~ Terri, Jan 18 2012

    Show me the bench!

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