Final Gifts

Our Warrior gracefully and peacefully journeyed “home” on Friday, December 5th, at 12:41 p.m…

Choreographing right up until the moment of her death, Terri Luanna waited for her beloved husband to arrive. Then, as in all she did in her brief life, Terri passed gracefully and in peace, surrounded by all who loved her dearly.

Terri also ensured Miss M was partaking in a fabulous adventure with auntie L at the time of her death, making sure I was almost home before Heron called to tell me that her time was imminent.

I was not destined to be by Terri’s side, literally, but rather to “unpack” her mother’s leave-taking as we had done with her mother’s cancer journey. The recurring message from our Warrior? Live life fully amidst the pain and heartache…

Heron drove to my home later that afternoon, where he found Miss M and her “favorite cousin” (her words!), Jamie, listening to their favorite pop music and doing art work between dance moves. Papai took Marisa upstairs to share the news. Soon after, they joined the rest of the O’Neil clan and it was Miss M, child of her mother, who again taught the grown ups that life does in fact go on.

Papai gave Marisa the blue light necklace from hospice, beautifully explaining its significance as he peeled off the paper, releasing a bright, iridescent blue glow.

“It will stay blue for 3 days because that is how long it will take Mamae to travel to heaven. She will always be with us and will visit us in our dreams.”

It was unbelievably heart wrenching to witness, but such an honor to call this incredibly loving family my own…

A few minutes later, Marisa asked about the play we were supposed to attend. Her “O’Neil cousin”, Lauren, was “starring in” (Marisa’s words again), our high school’s rendition of Scrooge and Marley, and Marisa had come home with me to see Lauren  make her stage debut.

“Do you still want to go?” I asked.

To which she replied,  “Yes!”

Of course she did… She is her mother’s daughter after all.

As soon as she arrived home, she melted into her Papai’s arms and went up to bed where he hung their blue light to watch over them while they slept. In the morning. Heron told me he held her close, telling her how much he loved her and how lucky they were to have been loved by Mamae. Then he kissed her cheek, she kissed his, and together, they blew a kiss to Mamae which they have done each morning since Terri’s passing…

On Saturday, we all gathered in CT.

To remember. To grieve. To celebrate.

And Terri continued to scatter her “Final Gifts”…

There was one in the red cardinal her friend Patty saw outside her kitchen window at 12:45 on Dec. 5th.

Another in the perfectly timed Happy Song that played 3 times in the car with Marisa the day she died.

And one of my favorites, the dance party Miss M orchestrated on Saturday, insisting we all dance to Mamae’s favorite “New York” song by Alicia Keys and Jay Z.

Our Warrior will be remembered most for her voracious and passionate love of life, her boundless compassion, and her deep and abiding faith in the innate goodness of human kind. The world is a better place because of Terri’s legacy of strength, hope, and commitment to living life to it’s fullest. Her indomitable spirit will live on in all of us; the people all over the world whose lives she touched…

Terri had one wish when asked how she wanted us to commemorate her life.

“I want a party and dancing…” Simple as that.

So that’s what we are giving her.

She also wants her ashes scattered in her beloved NYC as well as a commemorative bench in Astoria Park. This celebration will be open to all of you, her beloved army of soldiers, who bore witness to, accompanied and cherished our beloved Warrior.

We have set up a new gracefulwomanwarrior Memorial Fund via GoFundMe at gofund.me/icqknk, which will be used to fund Miss M’s education and cover any remaining medical expenses. A new button will be installed on this page (as soon as I can get auntie D over here to do it!)

In the mean time, please know that together, we will continue to keep Terri’s story and her legacy alive…

Love, auntie L

Celebrating Terri...

Celebrating Terri…