Bidding Farewell to Ohio

The beautiful Miami River

The beautiful Miami River in Ohio

The time has come to say goodbye.  Miss M and I officially leave Ohio this Friday.  July 26th.   Wow.

The days now are full of goodbye hugs, tears, promises to stay in touch…  I’m saying goodbye to the cornfields, the farms, the wide open sky…  To lots of fantastic people who made living here more enjoyable than I ever imagined it could be…   And goodbye to my therapist and just today my soul sister & reiki healer Renee…  Monday is my last evening with the girlfriends…   And Miss M and I are now going through the house recalling favorite memories from each room (today we remembered our dance parties in the kitchen and birthdays in the backyard).  

Don’t get me wrong.  I am THRILLED to be moving.  There’s a lot about life in Ohio that I will not miss at all…  Small town mid-western living just ain’t my style.  And for that, I am psyched, and oh so ready, to be starting our next chapter in Connecticut!

Our new life is slowly starting to take shape…  We’re in the midst of closing on a beautiful little home only a mile from the beach, hubby is loving his new job, I found a great Montessori school for Miss M, and I’m finally getting clear about what I want to do professionally.  It’s a beautiful thing.

The last few weeks have been pretty insane though.  With hubby already in CT I am stuck with all the move stuff, while still acting as a full-time (temporarily single) mom too.  Luckily Miss M has been pretty great lately – playing by herself, helping me clean the house, going to bed without too much drama.  Which is awesome, because a month ago she was totally insane!  Not sure if it was the therapy sessions she started going to again…  Or her picking up on the joy and excitement hubby and I have about this move…  Or just that she’s getting older…  Who knows?  I’m just thankful every day that she is my daughter.  And I tell her that too.  How she is just what I always dreamed my daughter would be.

With everything that’s been going on, it’s been hard not to fall back into old patterns…   Of stress eating, giving up on exercise, taking everything on, then getting frantic, and way off balance.  I’m finding the most important things I can do to stay balanced are to ask for help and make time for myself.  The old me would have done neither of these things.  The new me, however, is finding time amidst the chaos to exercise, go to reiki, laugh with friends and enjoy the sunset.  The new me gets babysitters, hires cleaners, and asks people for favors.  Of course, when I do this, it give me energy to tackle the rest of life.  To be a better mom.  To not freak out as much.  To get stuff done.  This manifestation of self love is such an integral piece of healing and living your best life.

Speaking of which…  I am finally reading Bernie Siegel’s book, “Love, Medicine, & Miracles“.  It is totally amazing and brings me back to my fascination with the mental and emotional roots of cancer.  Our brains are central station for everything our bodies do.  How can the brain not be involved somehow in our illness too?

Society tells us not to look at the roots or causes of disease.  Disease is what it is.  You’re sick.  Just deal with it.  Take a med, have surgery.  But to me the roots of illness are so important.  I don’t really believe illness is random.  We get sick because something is wrong in our lives.  Off balance.  We aren’t living the lives we were meant to live.  Illness is a wake-up a call.  A call to get honest.  Get real.  Look around you and figure out what’s not working.  And change it.

Even though I’m ready to start the next chapter in my life, I know I’ll never fully close the chapter on cancer.  No matter where I go, it follows.   Metastatic breast cancer is not something that ever truly goes away.   Instead, I’m hoping I can harness that energy and use it for good.  Recognizing that cancer is a game changer.  Allowing it to push me forward.  To keep me on my toes.  To bring more awareness.  To ground me in the present moment.   A constant reminder that tomorrow is never promised.

So I continue to live for today.  Love myself.  Be kind.  And remain open to the game changers of life.

Goodbye Ohio.  Hello Connecticut!

Peace.  – T

Hamming it up at the local children's museum.

Hamming it up at the local children’s museum in Connecticut.

Getting to know the locals

Getting to know the locals.

17 Responses

  1. What an extremely exciting new chapter you all are about to begin!!! I’m so thrilled for you that you’ll be so close to the water… and us!!! Best of luck & love this week with the transistion!

  2. Ditto to what your Dad said!!
    The east coast joyously awaits your arrival- welcome home…
    Love, Auntie Laurie

  3. So wonderful to see you shining in the next chapter of your life!

    Out of curiosity, what do the healing books say the root of obesity is? I mean serious obesity like mine? If you have a chance to look it up, that is.

    • Hey Morph!
      This is what Louise Hay has to say about being overweight… It stems from fear. A need for protection. Running away from feelings. A cover for hidden & repressed anger. A resistance to forgive. Insecurity & self-rejection.

      Not sure if that rings true for you or not. But I find most of what she says to ring true for me.

      Keep with it girl! You’re doing great! xoxo

      • The fear, running away from feelings, insecurity and self-rejection sure ring true for sure. Especially the fear. I binge especially when I’m trying to stuff anxiety and the anxiety comes from toxic shame. Well, I’m a work in progress as we all are! Thanks for the info and the support! *hugs*

  4. So glad you’re going to where YOUR heart sings its finest song! :) Safe travels!
    … keep on healing, mama … do what’cha gotta do now …

  5. Looking forward to more get togethers with you guys in MA. So happy for you guys that life is finally giving you what you deserve…some much needed happiness! :)

  6. Remembering to ask for help is doubly affirming (which means it can be doubly hard, sometimes). It means one must believe “I’m worth helping” and “someone loves me enough to help if I ask, and they are able to.” Those are two very affirming beliefs, but I know they can be underexercised.

    (If one is in that tender area where it’s hard to believe those things, one is at least trying to believe. And that’s really powerful too. There’s no brighter light shining in the darkness than the light held by one seeking to prove the darkness can not win. I’ve often thought a depressed person who can’t believe in fairies but tries to, would not only heal Tinkerbell, but possibly turn her bright enough to fire laser beams. Which would make for an interesting finale, but could be dangerous in a crowded theater. So they should probably only try this during filmed performances.)

  7. I’m a little late to reply (again), but I wanted to chime in with a loud: “Yahoooooo!”. Your Dad told me you had found a house and I am so thrilled to hear everything is coming together nicely. May you be healthy, happy and wealthy (in that order!) in your new home. I’m working hard on my dream to have an east coast visit soon, hopefully we’ll be able to connect. Best wishes for a stress free move and enjoy settling in.
    Love and hugs.

    PS Hey Morphidae, for what it’s worth from a total stranger you’ve never met: I’m always struck by your comments. They are always coming from a particular depth of thought and kindness. It’s interesting, you know how one’s mind supplies a picture when you haven’t seen someone or a place? Well, even though you have mentioned struggles with weight several times, my mind just doesn’t serve up that picture of you. Based on the little window (and sometimes little windows can show a lot), Terri’s blog supplies, I’d say you don’t have a darn thing to be anxious or fearful about. You sound pretty darn cool to me.

  8. Hi Terri,

    Congratulations on your new move, I too have moved closer to the water here in San Rafael, CA near some amazing views of out majestic Mt. Tamalpais. You and I have
    much in common and are doing many of the same healing modalities, feel like I am
    reading a bit about myself in every blog you write. Love your truthfulness and your
    insight….have yet to meet someone who is going through bc with a holistic approach.
    That is something that is oh so strange I feel, why are so many women just dping what the docs tell them to do and not much else?

    Well, I have much to share with you and would love to talk to you either via cell or online chat or other….wish you were closer and I could visit you and tell you you have a friend
    that is going through the same issues.

    My cell is 415.305.1437 and I am also on OOVVOO (web chat)…

    Ciao,

    Raffia Bufano

    • Hi Raffia! Thanks so much for reaching out. I may actually be planning a visit to the Bay Area in the next year so I’ll be sure to let you know if/when that happens. WOuld love to meet you & share stories. In the meantime, I guess phone is good too. Will try to give you a ring one of these days. It makes me so happy to know there are others out there doing this holistically and making different choices. Looking forward to comparing notes. Hugs, – T

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