A quick thank you to everyone who chimed in with their 2 cents. I found all your responses so helpful and comforting.
Miss M is still flipping out and she’s still upset more hours in the day than not. But I am feeling bolstered by the new ideas and avenues you all suggested for us to explore.
I’ve struggled with not knowing how much to tell her. (She is, after all, only 3 years old). But after reading about all your experiences, I feel that it’s ok to be honest with her (in 3 year old terms of course). Because the reality is that I can’t hide this from her. So why not keep it real? Let her know what is happening and what she can expect. Let her know that I love her dearly and always will. Let her know that it’s ok to be mad… and sad… and frustrated…
And I will continue to do my best to create a firm and loving holding environment for her. To set limits. To continue with our daily routines. And surround her with people who care and love her unconditionally.
Lisa Marie – I love the Neufeld Institute site you forwarded to me and may call the lady in North Vancouver for some over-the-phone coaching. Their approach seems very much in line with my leanings towards attachment parenting.
Trisha – We need to get together soon so we can catch-up on our cancer journeys, parenting, and life. We are 2 tough mamas and we are gonna get through this.
Mark, Elenore, Gwyneth, Jewel, & Joelyne – Thank you for sharing your personal stories with me about navigating the ups & downs of living in a household with family illness. I’m touched by your candor and willingness to open up.
Rhonda Lea – Your words broke my heart. I’m so sorry you did not receive the reassurance you needed. After reading your comment I made it a point to tell Miss M last night that she was in no way responsible for me having cancer and that nothing she says or does would make me sick. This elicited a big smile from her. Thank you.
And Lois – I couldn’t agree more with your dad’s wisdom: “When they are the most unlovable is when they need the most love”. I will try to remember this when Miss M is at her worst & I’m at my whits end.
This is an ongoing battle. We’re all still adjusting to our new “normal”. But I have faith that we will make it through. In large part due to the beautiful support and guidance from all of you.
Lots of love. – T