Going Beyond Cancer

This past weekend my reiki therapist Renee brought me a spectacular tarot card.  She often pulls a card from the deck before meeting with clients – which I LOVE.  This week’s card was # 21 – the Universe (which is the World Card in a traditional tarot deck).  It speaks to completion, triumph, peace, liberation and fulfillment…  An interconnectedness with everything in the cosmos…  And the freedom to travel in whatever direction my heart desires…  So the questions is, what direction do I want to travel in?

Last night I had a dream where I was driving a rental car but had to pull over because a thick soapy foam started to cover the windshield and I couldn’t see.  When I looked up the dream’s meaning it said driving a rental car symbolizes an attempt to find a new way of dealing with life’s issues.  The obscured windshield symbolizes that something is stopping me from seeing what is vital and right in front of me.  The future is unclear.  The dream couldn’t be more true.

I need to get clear about my purpose.  Beyond cancer, what do I want to do?  Who do I want to be?  What am I passionate about?  How do I want to live?

The social worker in me knows I must give back.  Pay it forward.  Use all the love, support and positive vibes that ya’ll are sending me to heal and send more love back into the world.

Rather than throw myself back into the burn-out prone world of social work full-time, I’ve decided to volunteer my skills instead.  A friend put me in touch with Christin Woods a fabulous and inspiring social worker at Partners in Hope, Inc.  We’ve been discussing volunteer opportunities and I’m psyched to get involved.  I’ve been volunteering in one form or another since I was 15 years old.  People helping people is what it’s all about.  It takes a village, right?

Many people also tell me how inspired or touched they are by my blog.  I know how therapeutic it is for me to write all this down but the fact that my ramblings bring special moments to other people’s lives is so amazing.  This whole thing started out as a site to keep family and friends up-to-date on my treatment and has now become so much more than that.  I’m still not sure where it’s going, but I know that staying connected with the blog, and everyone reading it, is a good thing.

I also feel a pull to bring attention to the overlooked metastatic breast cancer population.  We need research to figure out how we can make stage 4 breast cancer a truly chronic disease that women can live with for decades.

I think we all have a desire to make our marks in the world.  Make a difference in someone’s life.  Live a fulfilling life.  And yet, it’s so easy to get stuck in fear or the comfort of our routines and completely miss out on the opportunity to do something big.  To appreciate the beauty that is all around us.  To connect with each other.  Take a risk.  Try something new.

Let’s not wait any longer to make our mark on the world.  We’re all here for a reason.  What’s yours?

Peace.  – T

6 Responses

  1. Terry – since the day in February when Katie Z called me to let me know your situation, and about the fundraiser that was being held, I began following your blog. And, to this day, your messages are always so profound and honest. I’ve found much needed guidance and clarity in the past 4 months from reading them and been moved to tears on many occasions. I was so happy to read you got to spend much needed quality time with your family and friends when in Dartmouth. Maybe next time we can catch up.

    • Hi Lauren! I would absolutely LOVE to get together and catch up next time I’m back East. I’m so glad my blog has helped you in some way. I’m realizing that that is the ultimate goal of doing this whole thing and sharing my struggles and thoughts. I can’t thank you enough for all your support with the Massachusetts benefit in March. I’ve been meaning to drop a line to you for the longest. Looking forward to connecting again soon. hugs, – terri

  2. Another person I follow because of their amazing attitude is Alice Pyne (http://www.alicepyne.blogspot.com/). She’s a 16 year old with terminal leukemia in the UK. She runs a charity that offers vacations to families with ill children and encourages bone marrow donations. She’s an amazing young woman. When I see people like her and yourself face difficult challenges with such grace, it gives me the strength to do so as well.

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