Therapize Me

So a few weeks ago I stopped seeing therapist # 2.  Damn, it’s hard to find the right therapist.

But I still need to find someone.  I need to understand what’s going on in my head.  I need to look at the patterns & defenses that may have contributed to the development of my cancer.  I need to process the grief of losing my mom.

Seriously, if anyone knows of an outstanding psychotherapist in the Dayton area please send the info my way.

Even though I’m not in therapy right now I continue to find other ways to “do therapy” on my own…  Most of this comes in the form of various shows on Oprah’s new OWN network (her Super Soul Sunday series in particular) as well as lots and lots of books.  And of course this blog.  Thanks everyone!

The most recent book I am reading is The Type C Connection: The Behavioral Links to Cancer and Your Health by clinical psychologist Lydia Temoshok, PH.D. & Henry Dreher.  The general gist is that certain personality types or more likely to develop cancer than others.  The cancer prone “type C” personality is a self-sacrificing perfectionist who takes care of everyone else, is dependable, calm, usually unassertive, and unable (or unwilling) to express all their needs and emotions.

I’ve mentioned this whole concept in my blog before…  How I see myself as a type C personality (striving to be a balanced type B person).  And I can see how stuffing down your feelings and putting yourself last is bound to take a toll on your body and soul.  And then the emotional crap ends up manifesting as disease of some kind or another.  Mine (as with many type C personalities) happens to be cancer.

Let me be clear that in no way is this a “blame the patient” sort of thing.  We are who we are for a number of reasons – genetics, parents, environment, pivotal life events…  They all shape the people we become.  My own unique mix of events has led me to develop some of the characteristics of the Type C personality.  It is what it is.

The last few days, as I watch Oprah & read my book, I’m realizing how important it is to recognize all the different parts of myself.  Even the parts I don’t like – or don’t want to look at.  The parts that aren’t so pretty.  When we try to ignore the pieces of ourselves that we don’t like (or think others won’t like) we just gloss over the truth and present a false self to the world.

I am starting to see that I can’t be my healthiest, most fabulous self until I embrace my whole being.  Warts and all!

This is also coming up because tomorrow I’m off to Columbus to do a radio interview about living with fear for CBC (The Canadian Broadcasting Company) – Check it out on twitter and facebook.  So of course I’m thinking about my fears.  And recognizing how important it is to feel my feelings, no matter how yucky they are, instead of dismissing them like I usually do.

So what do I feel?  I am scared of getting really sick.  I am afraid of dying.  I have resentments.  I can be jealous.  Sometimes I just want to be totally lazy.  I get angry about stuff.

Can someone get me a good therapist please???

Peace.  – terri

16 Responses

  1. Hello fellow type C…. There certainly are a lot of us out here in the world. Perhaps “Striving to be type B” would be a good title of a book or song.
    How about therapy via Skype? Not ideal I realize, but if there is a fantastic therapist willing to consult that way it may broaden the search area for a good one. I can certainly recommend a fabulous person many, many miles away. Though I’m not sure if there are guidelines prohibiting long distance therapy. I’ll check in with my friend from your area and see if she has any thoughts.
    Love to you and the gang.
    PS: Happy belated Mothers Day!

  2. Ask and ye shall receive… Thanks Lisa and Stevie-sounds like a brilliant plan to me! She/he is out there, and in the mean time, your “home therapy” is just as valuable. Take it from someone who has tapped into both types.
    Last but certainly not least, All those feelings? Resentment, fear, anger, etc.? They will continue to ebb and flow even when you get the right therapist- it’s called being human.
    Love you sweetie and good luck today, Laurie

  3. Oh how I can relate! I’ve often wondered, why I was diagnosed with cancer? But you hit the nail on the head…I too am a type “C” personality. Very difficult to change, but recognizing it is half the battle. If only we had a magic wand! Keep up the good work and fill me in on How to Change!! lol we all have work to do. Sending positive thoughts your way!

  4. You are incredibly intelligent AND emotionally intelligent so it stands to reason that finding a therapist who can help guide you is going to be very difficult anyway. I wish you luck in your search.

  5. Good for you searching for the right therapist. I see too many of my friends seeing therapists for years who really aren’t doing them any good. I went through about 6 back in the early 90’s before I found one who really helped me, and I was amazed at how quickly I worked through so many things and he put me on my metaphorical feet and set me loose on the world. The right one is out there for you, as long as you’re not afraid to fire several wrong ones to find him or her. Good luck!

  6. Hi Terry, I’m not in Dayton but I am a therapist and have been doing this for a long time. You have been in my thoughts and prayers. Here is what I know about finding a good therapist. Most important they have to be comfortable enough to laugh at themselves. They need to tell a good story, be part of the journey, know when to run the show and when to let you. Talk to friends about who they like and why but most important listen to your gut. You will find who you need, when the student is ready, the teacher will come

    Peace be with you

  7. Well… I don’t know any good therapists in Dayton. But, here’s a question you might want to ask.

    What exactly do you want?

    If you want to avoid getting trapped in a spiral of negativity and fear and anxiety – that’s definitely good ground for many therapists. If you feel like you have a specific mental illness problem (depression, OCD, phobias, etc.), that’s definitely good ground for many therapists. For the right type of therapist, unpacking your thoughts about where you are and how you got there works out well – but that person might not be a psychologist, psychiatrist, or social worker… it depends on what you need to unpack and so forth.

    (It’s also possible that the person you need *is*, say, a psychologist – but maybe it’s not the training in psychology that will help… does that make sense?)

    I want to emphasize, I’m very pro-therapy-for-them-as-wants-it. But sometimes people want a therapist because they want something and a therapist just isn’t the best path to that something. Sometimes, finding the right person to provide that something means understanding what that something is a bit better.

    I’m definitely (definitely, definitely!) in favor of you finding help – I’m just suggesting that you think about what kind of help you want, and who best provides it.

    • Some very good points!! I bet once I am more clear on what it is exactly I’m looking for the right person or opportunity will present itself. More stuff to tuck away for further investigation… Thanks.

  8. Hi Terri,
    I think the Universe has delivered your request. :) I am a former therapist/now energy reader and healer in Troy, OH. I was referred to your site by a mutual friend. I’d love to chat with you about where you are, what you are looking for and how I can help. The first conversation is free and we can do it right over the phone. If you are interested e-mail me at jody@buzzen.us to set up a time to talk.
    Hugs,
    Jody England

  9. Hi Terri,
    The Universe has delivered me to your doorstep in the form of a mutual friend. :)
    I am a former therapist turned energy healer. I live in Troy, OH. I specialize in helping people understand why they do what they do, and attract what has shown up in their lives. I do lots of work with mind/body connection insights and most importantly with energetically MOVING OUT the blocks that are in the way of you healing and moving past this. The reason you haven’t “figured it out” yet is because it’s not happening on a cognitive/conscious level. It’s showing up in your body because it is buried in the subconscious. Only energy work can access that level and work with what’s there.

    I’d be happy to chat with you (first session is free) so you can tell me where you are, what you are looking for and where you want to go from here. Then I can give you an experience of the work I do and you can see if it’s for you.

    If you are interested, e-mail me at jody@buzzen.us to set up an appointment.

    Help is here. Right in your backyard?
    Hugs,
    Jody

  10. Whats cool terri is that you are so calm, and you are able to stay objective, and because of that you have been able to get sick, write about it, and share your story with all of us. Your story is with me all the time and i think it miraculous that you have been able to put this all down in print for others to read and ponder. Of course i am all for striving for balance, im just thinking that it is pretty incredible your personality enables you to reach so many others and touch them with your reality….

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