It’s been an interesting couple of days.
Yesterday I woke up feeling like crap. That damn cold put me in a bad space. I was feeling sorry for myself and got into a bad case of the “fuck its”… As in – Fuck it! I’m just gonna eat almost a whole bag of Stacy’s cinnamon and sugar pita chips (left here by Auntie D – Thanks!)… Fuck it! I might as well throw in a couple of chocolate chip cookies too… And fuck it! I’m not gonna exercise today. I’m too sick… Waahhh! Waaahhhh!
By the time hubby got home I was a mess. He told me get my ass up to bed and go to sleep. Of course even a simple command such as this is not easy for me. Remember that amazing lineage of strong and compassionate women i come from?? Well, they are also notorious “doers” who take care of everyone else and have difficulty taking care of themselves. (Sounds like so many women i know!!! You know who you are!!)
But last night I remembered what my new therapist said to me, “Doing nothing is doing something – It’s taking care of yourself.” Doing nothing helps you heal.
So I did it. I went to bed at 6pm last night and slept all the way till this morning. Now today, I’m feeling much, much better.
Are you running on empty?? Go ahead – do nothing for a bit – and bring on the healing.
I’ve also been getting lots of concerned calls, texts, and emails about how hubby and I are going to handle things on our own next week. And I think I need to chat for a moment about how amazing the folks in Ohio are. From the displays of generosity and spirit I’ve seen here I know in my heart that all we have to do is ask and what we need will be taken care of.
Just today, Miss M and I went for lunch at our favorite spot “Bakehouse Bread and Cookie Company” and the owner & head baker Margaret Begg personally came out to say hi to us. Turns out she’s been reading my blog. She refused to take my money for our lunch and promised to keep me in her prayers. I’m guessing she found out about my story from my dear friend Amy who organized the delicious gift of weekly bread deliveries from Bakehouse. Thanks Amy! And these are just a few examples of the outpouring of support and love coming at me.
The parents and staff at Miss M.’s preschool have gone out of their way to offer support… Making me a gorgeous prayer shawl… Bringing me organic medicinal mushroom soup from Dayton… Plus all the neighbours and friends offering help with Miss M whenever and however I need it…
And it’s not just the folks here in Ohio who have been going the extra mile… I heard tickets are already getting close to selling-out for my benefit concert in New Bedford on March 2nd… Plus, I’ve got strangers sending me supplements to build my immune system… And others offering to send me scarves to wear on my newly shaven head… Not to mention the gazzilions of you who have donated and sent money… Can I tell you how heavenly it is to have money set aside in a separate account just to pay all the medical bills that keep coming in. Really.
I could literally go on & on & on about all of the beautiful things people keep offering up. And it’s hard for me to wrap my brain around this much love and support.
But then I think of my mom. And remember when she was battling stage 4 cancer how thousands and thousands of people from all over the world came out of the woodwork with a story to tell about how my mom had touched their lives… Listened to their story… Offered a few wise words… Gave them a hug… Or just a smile and her attention… I’m not sure she even realized what an impact she had on other people’s lives. I hope she does now.
I guess I am my mother’s daughter.
So may she offer a lesson to all of us… To put our best foot forward. To be present. To make connections. You never know how your actions may affect the life of another person.
Peace. – T