It’s hard for me to believe sometimes that I really do have cancer.
I don’t feel sick. I’ve gone through two rounds of weekly chemo without getting nauseous, or throwing up, or feeling much pain at all. I’m not really feeling any side effects. My hair is still in place. I still have energy.
In the two days since I was pumped with chemo and hormone drugs for almost 4 hours straight I’ve just been living my life… Baking blueberry scones from scratch with Miss M, exercising, getting things done, going for lunch with Auntie Cole, and I even managed to squeeze in a team bowling night tonight with the crew from hubby’s job (although I opted to watch rather than bowl).
Everything seems incongruent. How can I, this seemingly healthy, normal feeling, energetic person have stage IV breast cancer? Could I really have cancer spreading all through my body and bones like the scans say? Maybe they got my scans mixed up with someone else???
In the back of my mind, I’m still preparing for the worst. I’m aware that all the side effects of my illness and treatment may come around to whack me in the weeks to come.
Or maybe I’ll just keep cruising through this.
Regardless, I’m just enjoying the fact that – today – I feel good. Cuz in reality, today is all we got.
Love to all. – T