Bye Bye Grandpa!

Grandpa is gone.  He left bright and early yesterday morning.

Today – Miss M is a complete and utter mess.  When I ask her why she’s so fussy and sad she says to me, “because I miss grandpa!”  Poor thing.  After spending over 7 whole weeks with us here in Ohio it was finally time for grandpa to go back home.  And boy do we miss him.

It must have been divine intervention (with some help from my mom) that landed grandpa on our doorstep the night before I was scheduled to go in for my mammogram way back in November.  Having him here for my initial diagnosis and being able to share the news with him firsthand, in person, was how it was meant to be.  And having him here to play with Miss M and lavish her with attention and play her songs on the guitar while mommy (aka: mamae) went to endless doctors appointments couldn’t have been more perfect.  Miss M ADORES her grandpa beyond imagination.

I can’t even begin to comprehend what my dad is going through right now…  Just a year and a half ago he lost his wife of 35 years to cancer and now his daughter is diagnosed with stage IV cancer too!?!?  That’s definitely another “WTF” moment.

On our drive to the airport yesterday, he admitted that he has yet to truly process the news.  That being in our home, caught up in the day-to-day madness of our lives and the holidays and the demands of Miss M didn’t allow him the chance to really sit with what is going on and feel whatever he has to feel.  So going home is good for him.  It will give him the chance to process it without worrying about how his tears may affect Miss M or me.

And now, the family gets ready for more visitors…

Tonight my BFF (and Miss M’s god/earth mother) Auntie “Cole” arrives.  Yay!  It’ll be nice to have some more female energy in the house.  And it’s always nice to have your best friend around.

Tomorrow morning I go back into the doctor for my 2nd round of chemo.  I’ve been trying to get everything done and in order these last few days while i’m feeling full of energy, just in case I feel like crap after chemo.

Yesterday, Miss M and I actually had a fabulous day together – full of smiles, love, and happy moments.  It was my first day alone with her in ages.  We went to the children’s museum, made a delicious fish dinner, and had a impromptu dance party in the kitchen when LL Cool J’s “Round the Way Girl” came on the radio.  No tantrums.  No tears.  Just good times.

I realize that my goal for life now is to have as many good times as possible.  Surround myself with everything and everyone that brings me joy.  And let go of the stuff that brings me down.

Here’s to enjoying the moment and creating memories!  – T

10 Responses

  1. Here, here!!! Sign me up! Especially for the dance party with you, Nicole and MIss M. Here’s to girl power, joy, embracing the positive and journeying forward in hope…
    Thank God Heronzhinho loves beautiful women, cuz he will soon be surrounded by them!
    Love, Laurie

  2. T- It brought a smile to my face picturing the two of you dancing together, smiling…enjoying a fabulous mother/daughter moment to LL.
    Carpe diem!! Xoxo Moe

  3. So glad you had your Dad there to help you find some stability in the most unstable of times!
    I so love Auntie time and “Aunite Cole’s” are the best…in my opinion too :)
    I hope that you have the chance to cry together and laugh together. To dance together and to sit in the stillness together. A bond like yours doesn’t always need words!
    I am still in shock and I want you to know that I am thinking of you and sending all the best energies I can to help you arm yourself.
    Because of you I watched my tone today with all 6 kids and gave out more hugs than cross words….

    Thank-you for that :)


  4. Grandpa is a wise and loving man — and when he puts on his Aspect and raises his Attribute he can be happiness on the hoof, whether wielding guitar or words. I’ve seen video of Miss M dancing — she is so full of Absolute Joy in those moments (along with just the teensiest touch of ham… [grin]) that there doesn’t seem to be room left in the universe for anything else at all to get so much as a toehold.

    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers this morning and every day.

    Much love,


  5. Hey girl! Just a quick note to let you no I’m thinking of you :) gosh it’s been ages eh. I’m reading your blog and as a new mom find your words truely inspirational. Sounds like you have a wonderful world around you. Maybe we will see each other one day? Give me shout if your ever “back on town”. Lots of love old friend.
    778 899 4247

  6. Hi Terri!

    You have always been a beautiful and strong inspiration for me and continue to be. I am still in shock from hearing this so I can’t imagine how you must feel. Writing this blog is an amazing thing you are doing. Sharing and expressing all that you are feeling is helping many including myself that the present moment is all we have. I am learning to cherish every minuscule moment I have even though some moments are not always pleasant. I am sending you all the positive energy I can muster and I will continue to send you more when I meditate and practice yoga.

    Love, hugs and more love,


  7. Bless you, bless your daughter and husband and bless your dad. Know that if love alone can beat this thing, you’ve got it licked. Know that if you need help, all you have to do is ask. *hugs*

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